The last farewell of husband Dobrivoje for his wife Olivera Janicijevic

Saint Peter and Paul’s Church 

Sudbury, Ontario – June 5, 2024

Ole, my love, Today is my day of hardship! Today is my day of darkness! Today is my day of pain, a day filled with immense sadness. It is painful because we are parting ways today unexpectedly. We are not parting ways by your will. We are not parting ways by my will. We are parting ways by God’s will. That’s how God wanted, and so it would be.

My love, allow me to go back to our past at this farewell. Do you remember when we came to this very same temple of God fifty-five years ago to get married and to ask God for his blessing to unite us in our dreams, in our thoughts and our intentions. To give us patience and strength to achieve all our dreams. And God has answered our prayer. And you gave yourself to me,  I gave myself to you, and we became one in everything.

Yes, my love, we have spent our life in love and work, with plenty of worry and, also, plenty of joy. But all of this, our life’s work and efforts, have passed by so quickly that it seems to me that they were as short as one night’s dream. You were a solid pillar of that one night’s dream. And the pain affects us all, as there is no continuation of that one night’s dream, it is gone, and it will never be. The sky has gotten dark, the clouds have hidden the sun and, in that darkness,  I was left without my guiding star – Olivera.

And still, they tell me: “do not worry, do not grieve, if you love someone, that person never dies. She will be and live in your heart forever.” Wherever  I go, we will go together, as we used to go; no matter what  I do, we will work together, as we used to do. And we will rejoice together every joy, just as we used to rejoice. You know that the dawn has always brought us a new day, a new hope and a new joy. In love, in our union, we have overcome all life’s difficulties and obstacles before us. Thank you for that!

You were the strong pillar of everything—our life union, sincere love, raising a family, and our devotion. Thank you so much from all of us.  I am especially grateful to you, with full acknowledgment. These fifty-five years of family union and your persistent work brought us in victory to the top of the highest mountain, to the heavenly heights where the thunders rumble. Lightning after lightning illuminated our way like fireworks, and the thunders crashed from the top of the mountain into the flowery valleys that you loved. All that in your glory and your honor. And I just wanted to take a handful of moonlight and an armful of the starry sky from the heights and to get on my knees in front of you and bring it all to you as a gift and put it in your lap as a sign of deep gratitude and love. But I couldn’t have; I didn’t have the strength.

Instead of the starry sky and the moonlight, allow me to go into our garden and to gather a bundle of our fragrant basil there as my greatest acknowledgment for everything you have done for us, as a wife, as a mother, as a mother-in-law, as a grandmother, as a relative, as our friend, as the best person to walk the earth!

My ole, my love, you gave birth to our three children. From babies to adults, it was a long and tiring way for many. But not for you! You raised those babies into honorable and good people with great pride. Thank you so much! That’s why I’m even more hurt, because I did not reward

you with anything throughout your life, and I wanted to decorate you with gold and pearls. And you, my love, said: “no, you should not. God has rewarded me with our children! They are my pearl, they are my gold, they are our tomorrow, they are our future! And it is our duty to take care of both us and them.”

My love, you have taught our children to work and be honest. To work and perform good deeds so that good will be returned to them. To run from evil and defy evil. To feed the hungry, to give drink to the thirsty, to clothe the barefoot. And where you stopped, I will continue. And where I stop, our children will continue – through the way of their ancestors, through the teachings of our church. The road we paved and instructed them on is the path of love, kindness and understanding. Don’t worry, our children won’t do harm to anyone because you have taught them kindness. And they will, like you did, teach their children, our grandchildren, to know their roots – which tree they are the fruit of. And the fruit of our tree is Serbdom. So that our grandchildren and great-grandchildren and further descendants carry the love for Serbdom. For them to know who they are, what they are and where they come from, and to appreciate and respect other people, just like you did. To appreciate knowledge, because knowledge is the force, knowledge is power.

Fifty-five years ago, we came to Sudbury, where we knew nobody and where nobody knew us. Now I see how many people loved and respected you and how many people came to participate in this farewell. Working with those people, you respected their understanding, appreciated their capabilities and enjoyed their presence as they enjoyed yours. That’s why I want to thank all of them deeply for coming to share this pain with us, Olivera’s family.

I grew to love the past because today, you are all of my past and the joy of my past. And the future we made our vows for and believed in and looked forward to became the deepest wound in my heart because you are gone.

You celebrated all our and all God’s holidays. For Christmas, you would rush to me with a cup of hot brandy – the Serbian tea – to kiss and hug and greet me with: “Christ is born, merry Christmas.” And I, close in your hug, felt all the warmth of your love and the holiday joy that came from you.

And when Easter came, you would hug me and say: “Christ has risen! Happy holiday!” and: “Come on, hurry up, don’t wait and hesitate. We won’t get to the church on Easter in time to get a basket full of colored eggs blessed and distribute them to all the children!” And those children are not children anymore; they are grown-up people today who came to say thank you and see you off with dignity to your distant journey.

And next Christmas holiday,  I will not allow pain to destroy and torture me because our children will bring me “tea” – hot brandy and greet me with: “Dad, merry Christmas – Christ is born!” And that’s how they will revive our happy past. In a few days or months, we will understand that you are not with us just physically. You will always be there spiritually. Then, instead of mourning, we will celebrate memories of you and your love for everyone, your successes, your work and your care for others – so that no one is hungry or thirsty.

So, the time is near to leave the church and go to the cemetery and to let you down in your eternal home. Your nobleness, your soul and your spirit are going towards the starry heaven into the kingdom of God, accompanied by the river of our tears. May your soul have a pleasant and easy trip there.

 I will, with the help of our children, our grandchildren, God, families, and our friends, remove all sorrow. We will remove all sorrow and all pain for you. We will embrace all the joy and happiness that God gave us to have you as a wife, mother, mother-in-law and grandmother.

Our path was the path of our grandfathers, and that is the path that our church has led us through for centuries. We did no harm to anyone on that God’s Orthodox path. We helped and did good as well as we could. That’s why I will continue where you left and take up your duty to instruct them as much as I can – to stick to your and my Orthodox path. The way of our grandparents, the way of our church.

And when I come home from the cemetery, I will no longer find that warmth and joy that it contained while you were in it.  I will walk around the empty house and collect all the pain and troubles, then place them into myself. They will choke me and break me, and I don’t have you anymore to share the pain and ease my soul. But again, they told me that you will come to my heart and settle there, and then there will be no more pain. Just please hurry up and bring joy to the painful heart. May your spirit walk through our house cheerfully and smiling. And may it tell everyone about your beauty and goodness. Let everyone be invited to celebrate and remember you. And may it bring back to us the beautiful and happy days we had with you so you can call me again from our kitchen: “Tati, Tati, come and try the cakes.”

I will tell you this again, my love. When  I come to visit your grave,  I will kneel and bow.  I won’t cry.  I will not tell you anything about my suffering.  I will not disturb your divine peace with my pain, my torment.  I will only wash your cross with my tears, wet the grave with my tears, and water the basil with my tears. Thus, God said, and so it will be.

Goodbye love, Your Tato in deep pain.

I would still like to read our favorite prayer that we read together very often holding hands:

Lord, grant me to receive calmly everything today brings me and surrender completely to the holy will. Direct me every hour of every day. Whatever news I receive, teach me to receive it calmly and with a firm conviction that everything is being in accordance with Your holy will. Control my thoughts and feelings and all actions and words. Don’t let me forget in some unpredictable cases that everything happens with Your permission. Teach me to treat my parents, my friends and relatives right. Not to make anyone angry and sad. Lord, give me the strength to enjoy today and everything that happens during the day. Control my will and teach me to pray, believe, hope, suffer, and forgive. – Amen